I should be sponsored by Trojan
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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