I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
