We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
