I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
