We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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