I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
