i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
