Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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