No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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