I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
