What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
