I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
