your thong is hanging out like whoa
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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