no. you can't hotbox the world.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
