you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize