Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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