Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
