He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
