dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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