It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
