i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
