She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
