I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
