I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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