I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
