Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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