what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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