Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
