Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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