Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We are two peas in an std pod
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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