My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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