i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
