I look better un-naked...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
