the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
