you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
