Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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