Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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