got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
