My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
