Kareoke will never be a sober sport
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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