why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize