I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
