Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
