we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize