u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize