You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
love makes seman taste better
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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