remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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