watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
