No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
