she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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