Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
why is half of my head shaved?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
