ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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