How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
