Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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