You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
