question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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