we have officially lost it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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