Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
