I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
