Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
worst night to have a conscience
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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