dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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