Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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